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    Percy
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    Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:50 pm

    When they ask us to pee sitting down are we allowed to diagnose penis envy?



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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:54 pm

    I actually have a whole slew of basically sure-fire stratgies for success with women, but as there are likely any number of them reading this thread whom I may wish to shamelessly flirt with at some juncture, that information will have to remain highly proprietary.


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Guest on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:58 pm

    The real question is: Why pee standing up when you can sit down? There's no physical reason to have to stand. There's more work involved in standing to pee. Why not skip a step (lifting the seat) and relax?
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:29 pm

    The Kay wrote:The real question is: Why pee standing up when you can sit down? There's no physical reason to have to stand. There's more work involved in standing to pee. Why not skip a step (lifting the seat) and relax?
    Laughing


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Mags on Thu Feb 18, 2010 11:29 pm

    The Kay wrote:The real question is: Why pee standing up when you can sit down? There's no physical reason to have to stand. There's more work involved in standing to pee. Why not skip a step (lifting the seat) and relax?
    Because they can, Kay. And because they think we can't, lol!

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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Guest on Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:03 am

    In my house I pee standing
    When I'm in a woman's house I pee sitting

    Just makes life easier
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    ziggy

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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by ziggy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:43 am

    I freely admit I have penis envy for that very reason - the whole world is your urinal! I have a bladder the size of a pea and if I could just whip it out and be relieved in a parking lot, on the side of the road, man, that would be sweet....HOWEVER, the reason I don't like you standing up to pee is that it splashes outside of the toilet onto the floor and walls and that's just gross. If you can promise you aren't a splasher, then at least put all toilet seats down - I have to have the lid closed too so I am not asking you to do anything I don't do also. If you are a splasher and insist on standing, I just pee on your stuff to get even.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by dangrsmind on Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:59 am

    The Kay wrote:The real question is: Why pee standing up when you can sit down? There's no physical reason to have to stand. There's more work involved in standing to pee. Why not skip a step (lifting the seat) and relax?

    Wrong. Sitting requires bending the knees and lowering the pants. To pee standing up, you simply unzip and whip it out. No knee bending or pants lowering. You save energy and time by standing up. Plus you get to pee on something of your choosing. Fun!
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by dangrsmind on Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:06 am

    ziggy wrote:I freely admit I have penis envy for that very reason - the whole world is your urinal! I have a bladder the size of a pea and if I could just whip it out and be relieved in a parking lot, on the side of the road, man, that would be sweet....HOWEVER, the reason I don't like you standing up to pee is that it splashes outside of the toilet onto the floor and walls and that's just gross. If you can promise you aren't a splasher, then at least put all toilet seats down - I have to have the lid closed too so I am not asking you to do anything I don't do also. If you are a splasher and insist on standing, I just pee on your stuff to get even.

    You need a p-mate!



    My wife tried one of these things when she was wearing an outfit the was very difficult to remove at a party. She reported that it worked great.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by ericclimbs on Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:37 pm

    ziggy wrote:I freely admit I have penis envy for that very reason - the whole world is your urinal! I have a bladder the size of a pea and if I could just whip it out and be relieved in a parking lot, on the side of the road, man, that would be sweet....HOWEVER, the reason I don't like you standing up to pee is that it splashes outside of the toilet onto the floor and walls and that's just gross. If you can promise you aren't a splasher, then at least put all toilet seats down - I have to have the lid closed too so I am not asking you to do anything I don't do also. If you are a splasher and insist on standing, I just pee on your stuff to get even.

    I dated a girl once who would not let me do that. I'd be like "hey I'm just gonna step around the corner here and take care of some business." She would never let me. She said if she couldn't do the same thing than I couldn't either. It was an equality thing. If she had to hold it I had to hold it too until proper facilities were located.


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Guest on Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:46 pm

    I dated a woman a long time ago and we had an agreement
    When I was at her house I’d put the seat back down (before I started just sitting there)
    At my house she had to put the seat back up

    Seemed fair to me
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by ericclimbs on Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:52 pm

    dabobkat wrote:I dated a woman a long time ago and we had an agreement
    When I was at her house I’d put the seat back down (before I started just sitting there)
    At my house she had to put the seat back up

    Seemed fair to me

    Exactly! You always hear women say "Why didn't you put the seat down?"

    I say "Why did you leave the seat down????"
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    Hank

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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Hank on Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:11 pm

    I never worry about the seat,I just pee in the sink. Twisted Evil
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by blouAngel on Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:43 pm

    Hank wrote:I never worry about the seat,I just pee in the sink. Twisted Evil

    Me too, it's amazing what it will do for dishes soaking in the sink.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:47 pm

    blouAngel wrote:
    Hank wrote:I never worry about the seat,I just pee in the sink. Twisted Evil

    Me too, it's amazing what it will do for dishes soaking in the sink.




    Hell just drink it. The Buddhist monks I hang with do and they swear its very healthy. The practice is called Shivambhu, auspicious water of Lord Shiva, or Urine Therapy. A lot of people in the East swear by it.


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by wadahoot on Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:27 pm

    [quote="Paximus"]
    blouAngel wrote:[Hell just drink it. The Buddhist monks I hang with do and they swear its very healthy. The practice is called Shivambhu, auspicious water of Lord Shiva, or Urine Therapy. A lot of people in the East swear by it.

    For real? What is the perceived benefit?

    :::are we talking about peeing??! this would NEVER do at WS:::

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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Guest on Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:37 pm

    Paximus wrote:
    blouAngel wrote:
    Hank wrote:I never worry about the seat,I just pee in the sink. Twisted Evil

    Me too, it's amazing what it will do for dishes soaking in the sink.




    Hell just drink it. The Buddhist monks I hang with do and they swear its very healthy. The practice is called Shivambhu, auspicious water of Lord Shiva, or Urine Therapy. A lot of people in the East swear by it.

    Nasty! Nasty! Nasty! Razz
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by ziggy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:05 pm

    Here's some advice:

    1. Just put the damn seat down already! We don't have an option to sit or stand, we're kind of stuck having to sit and so think about that mister. And I will add that LID should always be down -fecal matter swirling into the air just freaks me out...no open toilets. (I'm a slight germophobe plus I'm clumsey and knock stuff in there!)

    2. Be complimentary, don't take it for granted she knows how freaking awesome she is

    3. Do what she views as showing you care - not what you think it is. If she wants flowers and cards, don't get her car washed for her and think that's the ticket.

    4. Drive her crazy in bed; be a tease and always pleasure her first.

    I sound like I write for Cosmo.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:37 pm

    ziggy wrote:Here's some advice:

    1. Just put the damn seat down already! We don't have an option to sit or stand, we're kind of stuck having to sit and so think about that mister. And I will add that LID should always be down -fecal matter swirling into the air just freaks me out...no open toilets. (I'm a slight germophobe plus I'm clumsey and knock stuff in there!)

    2. Be complimentary, don't take it for granted she knows how freaking awesome she is

    3. Do what she views as showing you care - not what you think it is. If she wants flowers and cards, don't get her car washed for her and think that's the ticket.

    4. Drive her crazy in bed; be a tease and always pleasure her first.

    I sound like I write for Cosmo.


    Last edited by Paximus on Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:45 am; edited 2 times in total


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by wadahoot on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:45 pm

    Wow, Pax. My husband of 28 years just says, "Hi, I love you." What a Face
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by Percy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:46 pm



    Last edited by Paximus on Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:46 am; edited 1 time in total


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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by ziggy on Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:51 pm

    Paximus wrote:
    ziggy wrote:Here's some advice:

    1. Just put the damn seat down already! We don't have an option to sit or stand, we're kind of stuck having to sit and so think about that mister. And I will add that LID should always be down -fecal matter swirling into the air just freaks me out...no open toilets. (I'm a slight germophobe plus I'm clumsey and knock stuff in there!)

    2. Be complimentary, don't take it for granted she knows how freaking awesome she is

    3. Do what she views as showing you care - not what you think it is. If she wants flowers and cards, don't get her car washed for her and think that's the ticket.

    4. Drive her crazy in bed; be a tease and always pleasure her first.

    I sound like I write for Cosmo.


    A person close to me has said:

    "Men use love to get sex, women use sex to get love."

    My thoughts?




    I've heard that slogan many times, but never set much store by it, or felt it did justice to either reality, that of sex or of love. When you're in the angelic/devil-driven grasp of love - the pound-your-head-against-the-wall, can't live and would rather die cruelly without her, waking up in the morning thinking of nothing but her kind of love that is the only kind of love that matters in the context of that statement - the sexual act of love is a peripheral, secondary manifestation of the desire to be so close to her, with your skin touching hers, and smelling her scent and seeing her before you...It's not so much that you want to have sexual intercourse as that you want to consume the woman, eat her like a cannibalizing zombie lust god, and ultimately, entirely, possess her, as integrally as you might possess an internal organ like your own beating heart, or your pancreas, or like a secret that you must keep but burst to tell someone though you can't and wouldn't and won't and don't but there it is.
    Use love to get sex? The actual act of sex is just consolation for the disappointment of not being able to simply devour the woman. But it is a consolation of such grandieur that no one really cares.

    BBM - Damn - that was nice.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by dangrsmind on Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:34 pm

    Paximus wrote:
    blouAngel wrote:
    Hank wrote:I never worry about the seat,I just pee in the sink. Twisted Evil

    Me too, it's amazing what it will do for dishes soaking in the sink.




    Hell just drink it. The Buddhist monks I hang with do and they swear its very healthy. The practice is called Shivambhu, auspicious water of Lord Shiva, or Urine Therapy. A lot of people in the East swear by it.

    Healthy? I don't know about that but it seems that it would be relatively harmless unless the urinator has an infection or the drinker is very dehydrated or suffering from kidney disease.

    But yeah, kind of nasty.
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by claudicici on Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:20 pm

    my friend back home did that...I don't know if she still does...she always had beautiful skin ,that's for sure...she's a mortician by the way ,completely unrelated...and she's vegan...
    ...my dad always told us that his grandma made him pee on his wounds when he was bleeding,makes sense that it would disinfect I guess
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    Re: Advice on women thread

    Post by dangrsmind on Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:55 pm

    claudicici wrote:my friend back home did that...I don't know if she still does...she always had beautiful skin ,that's for sure...she's a mortician by the way ,completely unrelated...and she's vegan...
    ...my dad always told us that his grandma made him pee on his wounds when he was bleeding,makes sense that it would disinfect I guess

    Is the pee of a carnivore vegan? Inquiring minds want to know.

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